82

...You know, I wasn't expecting this one until I got married. Because you know, that's not generally the kind of thing that happens to a semi-attractive Mormon teenager.

And then Preference with the boy who would turn out to be my very best friend happened.

And I'm so grateful it did.

"For you I'd wait/till kingdom come"

166!

I gave my mother some home baked pink lemonade cupcakes for her birthday, and let me tell you, they looked nice. Proof is forthcoming.

52!!!

For girl's camp we hit that Green River hard. Nobody fell out of my boat, but 4 people fell out of my mom's. IT WAS SO FUN!!! I LOVE WHITE WATER RAFTING. I'm considering becoming a river guide, as it seems the perfect pre-mission job for me -- low maintenance, lots of adventure, gospel, being in the water, meeting cool people... yeah. Awesome, right?

An unexpected triumph: Item 73 whilst also accomplishing item 53

So I went to Lagoon with some buddies on Friday. On Thursday night I read my bucket list and realized the time was at hand and I had a fear-conquering opportunity at hand here. Cool, right? Except hey... I was still terrified. So after lots of fretting, I decided once and for all that I was not wriggling out of this one. I decided to turn it into a faith builder. Which it so was. Let me just say, the thought of roller coasters in general has made me weak in the knees for some time now. So I got a bunch of friends together who vowed that they would, at all costs, get me on the biggest, baddest ride at the park; the jet-propelled, huge, straight-up, straight-down tower that is christened, quite appropriately, Wicked. Also I had my dad give me a blessing that I wouldn't fall off and die. Good thing to ask for. And so, at exactly 11:11 in the morning, I foudn myself in line for the biggest scream-provoker I've ever seen in real life. I was really afraid I would lose my cool in front of a bunch of really cute teenage boys... my main worry was keeping control of my bodily functions and not peeing my pants right then and there. But hey, I made it through the (massive, might I add) line and sat down in the seat. I was probably pretty pale, because my wonderful friends Ashley and Seth offered me their hands to hold as I waited for what seemed like Judgment Day, but was really just a huge roller coaster. And then I was being jet propelled from a dimly lit tube into the shocking, warming, blinding sunshine.

IT WAS AMAZING. It felt like riding a broomstick. All my Harry Potter fantasies came true then and there. AMAZING. And so now, I have no huge, fun-restricting fears.

We have some serious diem to carpe, folks.

UPCOMING EVENTS!!!

#175: Go to NEW YORK CITY AAAAHGHGUREISRJGNKLDFJ in the summer of 2014 I'M SO DANG EXCITED YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW...

#92: See a Broadway play

#107: Go on a Sasquatch hunt...my friends and I are so doing this in the summer.

#109: Bury a time capsule

And that's what's coming up....

I'm going to die.
This is so exciting.
I'm living!

Item 62

My grandpa is very, very close to dying. Let me tell you what I've gained from this: I have gained an understanding of one of the most beautiful principles of the gospel. I know that my grandpa will live again and that we will be together eternally. I know that Heavenly Father is real and knows his children, loving each one on such a personal level. I know that through Christ's suffering and Atonement, all things shall be perfected. I know that with God all things are possible. I know I can repent and I know that my grandfather will be happy when he graduates.

Advice: The loss of a loved one is hard. Really hard. I mean I haven't even lost him yet, but I still can feel the sadness. The kind of pit in your stomach? The one that never really heals? Yeah, that one. But here's my advice: to those of you who are worried about or are going through this now, pick up your scriptures. They will provide you with so much comfort. The other night I was super distressed about the whole thing. I prayed for comfort from God, and I felt like I should read my scriptures. I picked them up and went straight to Psalms, which is kind of obscure but one of the most peaceful books in the Bible. Only I wasn't just reading this time, I was seriously looking for an answer to my anxiety and despair. Page 722 came up -- and I just couldn't flip the page at all. I couldn't do it. My eyes fell on Psalm 18.
1 I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
...
4 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.
5 The sorrows of hell compassed me about; the snares of death prevented me.
6 In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God; He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry came before him, even into His ears.

SKIPPING DOWN TO VERSE 28

28 For thou wilt light my candle; the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

That was honestly the most powerful experience of my life. God will bring light to our darkest of hours. He loves us.

Never forget it.

Item 99 of the Bucket List Completed

The fabulous people of the Sneaky Fitch cast gave me flowers on closing night. (I stage managed the play. It rocked.)

Like, lots. Roses, daisies, mums, all my favorites in the mix. Plus one yellow rose with streaks of pink. It was truly breathtaking. I'm gonna start taking pictures of all the flowers I get.

I love you all! Thanks for helping me accomplish just one more goal! You have no idea what this means to me!